How to get a never ending happy ending from Planck's Constant

Photo Credit: Boost

For thousands of years there are three things which man has been searching for:

The elixir of life: a drink that grants eternal life or eternal youth to those who imbibe it.

The philosopher's stone, in Latin lapis philosophorum, which could turn inexpensive metals such as lead into gold.

A Long-lasting erection.

One may argue that Alchemists of old only wanted #1 so they could, with eternal youth, have #3. The same applies to #2; with enough gold one could buy the most delicious of young girls which in turn would lead to #3.

Now, one of the three Holy Grails of Life have been found:

WBZ1030.com,
6 Jun 2007,
Man Sues Over Long-Lasting Erection
A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism.

They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

The lawsuit, filed late Monday, says Woods later had problems that required a hospital visit and penile artery embolization, a way of closing blood vessels. Closing off some blood flow prevents engorgement and lessens the likelihood of an erection....

In Hollywood they say that there's no such thing as bad publicity as long as they spell the name right. Well, Novartis may now have trouble keeping the stuff on the shelves. Here's a photo of an unhappy Boost Plus® drinker.
Luckily, in the past few years many local health departments have been urging their citizens to back off drinking soda.

Inside Bay Area,
'Rethink the drink' focus of soda-free campaign

Soda is off the menu in Alameda County this summer.

That's the goal behind a new campaign that kicked off Friday.

The Soda-Free Summer campaign, organized by the county Public Health Department, aims to educate residents on the dangers of sugary, fizzy drinks and benefits of healthy alternatives.

"It's time to rethink the drink," said Diane Woloshin, director of nutrition services at the public health department.

Soda is the Mo. 1 source of sugar in the American diet, and the average American eats nearly 175 pounds of sugar each year -- or half a pound of sugar per day.

Drinking just one 20-ounce bottle of soda each day for a year can result in a 25-pound weight gain, according to county health officials.

The average American teen drinks 750 cans or bottles of soda each year, studies have indicated.

Instead of reaching for a cola, health officials are urging residents to choose water, non-fat or low-fat milk or unsweetened ice tea.

Imagine if Boost Plus® were available in high school cafeterias; that's all the hormone-happy boys would need is an extra boost.

50 years ago we had normal sounding drinks, Coke, Pepsi, 7-Up, Yoo-Hoo and the like. Candies were made of caramel, chocolate, nuts and peanut butter. Today, if you check out Junk Food Blog you find:
Strawberry Milkshake Creme Oreos
Cheddar Covered Pretzels
Cassava Yuca Chips
Beer Flavored Sunflower Seeds
and
buffalo wing flavored popcorn.

Energy products galore like Golly Guarana
Rehab Recovery Supplement Energy Drink
Empowered Mints
and
Mad-Croc Energy Gum.

When I was a child I would order a coke and a pretzel at the soda fountain and be perfectly happy. I suppose a child today would be disappointed if the pretzels weren't buffalo-wing flavored.

Disclaimer: I did NOT receive any promotional consideration in the writing of this post.