I could have been Leonardo DiCaprio


By Bernie on 26 Feb 2008




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Here I am at 19 (1964) - had I any acting talent and a great amount of luck I might have been a Hollywood heart throb. My son went on myheritage.com and got this widget to amuse me.

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Free genealogy software

When I was 9 years old (1954) my mother sent me for acting lessons in New York. I would take the train twice weekly from Bayonne to the Hudson Tubes in Jersey City, take the subway into the City and then catch another subway to Grand Street where the Henry Street Playhouse was located. I should point out that I did this without any adult accompanying me. There were about a dozen students from the age of 8 up to about 13 for voice and drama lessons. I also recall taking tap dancing lessons as well afterwards. In the 50s actors were expected to be accomplished in song and dance as well as the thespian arts. One only has to view films such as Yankee Doodle Dandy to be mesmerized by the performance of the multi-talented James Cagney to appreciate the skills of the actors of that time.

On the other three days of the week I would go to studio 52 in the theater section of Manhattan for acting classes as well. This went on for a few years even though I was not inspired to be an actor. It was my mother who wanted that for my career. I had always wanted to be a businessman like my father although both of my parents tried to steer me to acting, then law, then medicine, then science but I would have none of it. What finally made me quit was when I read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (I was 12 by then) and ever since, I have been a businessman. By the time I was fourteen I had decided to go into chemistry as a business and made some spending money making small explosives for kids bored with cherry bombs and M80s. By adding various salts to the potassium perchlorate I could give them any color flash they desired. Want some green sparkles? Add Barium carbonate. Want black smoke? Add some Anthracene. Want to add a sharp echo to the blast? Add a little Antimony trisulphide. Want a sexy bright turquoise? Then a teaspoon of Copper acetoarsenate will do the trick.

If a kid simply wanted to quietly light up his neighborhood late at night so it would look like noon, I would give them magnesium powder with some suitable nitrate to add whatever color they desired to the effect. I could make it look like New York City was just nuked but without any sound. You are probably wondering what thrill could any person get by seeing a bright flash but no sound and why would they pay me money to supply them? I think it was the same thrill kids get by putting poop in a paper bag and lighting it and ringing the doorbell. They love to see the look on the hapless victim of their crank. Within moments of the magnesium starting to burn, everyone on the block would come out of their houses or peer out their windows looking around to see from which direction armageddon was heading their way. Really, it looked like Haley's Comet was passing in the street!

I eventually graduated to legitimate activities. By the time I was 17 I had a job at Baker Castor Oil as a urethane polymer technician where I worked for three years with only one minor explosion which landed me in the hospital for a few weeks. There are some parts of my arms where the melanocytes were burned off and so I cannot get a tan on them. Otherwise I'm fine.

By the way, one of the celebrity faces that I match 68% with is Scarlett Johansson. This may explain why I have written more than a dozen blog posts about her and why I have a collection of more than 400 photos of her face. I must be in love with myself.

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities

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