Humor from Planck's Constant Archives

Posted on December 28, 2011 10:47 PM

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad .

Read the Rest: Change Your Underwear Often

Posted on November 29, 2011 11:43 PM

What would Barack Hussein Obama Jr.'s presidential library look like and what would they archive in it?

Read the Rest: The Obama Presidential Library

Posted on May 22, 2011 10:52 PM

disgusting Jew-hater and supporter of Hezbollah, Helen Thomas

A longtime White House correspondent with a designated seat, she retired after saying Jews should “get the hell out of Palestine” and go home “to Poland, Germany and America.”

Read the Rest: The One Good Thing About Burqas

Posted on March 9, 2011 10:44 PM

Charlie Sheen, whoremonger, coke-head, pathetic drunk and borderline psychotic has made such a fool of himself that he deserves ridicule and his own section of jokes.

Read the Rest: Charlie Sheen Jokes

Posted on January 4, 2011 10:59 AM

artist Shark Toof graffiti of Obama-Frankenstein

Although the following first three statements by doctors are not to be taken seriously, the last statement however is no joke and actually occurred in real life. It is a cautionary tale of what can happen when medical procedures go agley.

Read the Rest: How Obama Got His Job

Posted on December 20, 2010 07:24 PM

Here's the problem Ahmed: you know that celebrating Christmas for Muslims is haram and only permitted if the intention is to deceive the enemy Crusader-Zionist hosts. And what better way for you to show that you are an assimilated, moderate Muslim family than to give Christmas gifts to your children?

Read the Rest: Muslim Christmas Toys - Electronic Wire Toys

Posted on December 3, 2010 06:10 PM

when Islam came along, the pagan Arabs were worshiping statues and stones. Now Muslims only worship this big black rock in Mecca. Well, actually they don't worship the rock, but they sure would be upset if we nuked it.

Read the Rest: What I Want on my Tombstone

Posted on December 1, 2010 03:56 PM

Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of March 1, 2001.

Read the Rest: Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency

Posted on November 22, 2010 11:43 PM

The scantily-clad girls did more than cheer, they performed martial arts and fan dancing. For one of the teams they also raised their body temperatures making it too hot for them to play well. At least that is what was claimed by Yemen beach volleyballer Adeeb Mahfoudh

Read the Rest: Yemen beach volleyball team blames Sexy Cheerleaders for Defeat - Photos

Posted on June 29, 2010 08:22 PM

Occam's razor is a principle put forth by 14th-century English logician, theologian and Franciscan friar William of Ockham that the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

Likewise when terms like recession, depression and recovery are explained with esoteric economic terms and convoluted mathematical equations, it is highly likely that no one will come away with a clear understanding of what is what.

Read the Rest: The Difference Between Recession and Depression

Posted on June 4, 2010 03:33 PM

Ships forcing their way into Gaza do nothing to aid the people there. International aid organizations using land crossings supply all the necessary food, medicine and clothing to the Strip.

Read the Rest: Gaza Flotilla - We Con the World

Posted on April 28, 2010 12:54 PM

Another epic FAIL occurred yesterday when Purdue University student Jen McCreight started Boobquake, a day when as many women as possible show their cleavage, dress scantily, and hope no earthquakes occur thus disproving the Iranian cleric’s assertion that scantily clad women cause earthquakes 5. Within hours of posting her photo, Taiwan registered a 6.0 magnitude earthquake.

Read the Rest: Boobs Caused Taiwan Tremors

Posted on April 27, 2010 10:23 PM

Last year the rules changed for basketball teams in Israel's Basketball Super League (the top division of Israeli basketball). The league administrators mandated that all teams must host cheerleaders or face fines. Not a problem for team Maccabi Electra Tel Aviv.

Read the Rest: The Difference Between Tel Aviv and Jerusalem Cheerleaders

Posted on February 25, 2010 11:23 PM

INTERNET WARNING

Read the Rest: Nude Photo of Nancy Pelosi

Posted on February 9, 2010 10:26 PM

I will admit that there are huge differences in culture regarding how Americans and Muslims view women. So in this lesson we will cover words we use in tribute to the female body. This is nothing to be ashamed about, Ahmed. Allah in his wisdom created among the females in the animal kingdom, certain plumage, feathers, coloring and so on to help the female attract the male. While it is true that Muslims are attracted to all females, and even some females of different species such as goats and camels, American men are not attracted to all women.

Read the Rest: English for Muslims Part 1

Posted on February 1, 2010 07:11 PM

A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed. A man enters and orders a martini. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?"

Read the Rest: The Robot Bartender

Posted on May 26, 2009 06:12 PM

If we monitor annual deaths from bar-fights because someone insulted another, we could easily state that thousands each year are killed exercising their first amendment rights, so should we consider banning free speech? I see a few Liberal hands going up in the audience; yes, yes, I know you Obamaites cannot wait to ban free speech along with guns

Read the Rest: Ban Doctors Not Guns

Posted on November 21, 2008 09:13 PM

"Did you hear about the new Polish bank? You bring in a toaster and they give you ten thousand dollars." Well now it seems Liberals have reduced the American Banking system to something even worse than a Polish Joke.

Read the Rest: Buy a Toaster Get a Bank

Posted on October 4, 2008 12:31 PM

While we have had a few bank failures the rest of the world saw catastrophic collapses of their own banks:

Read the Rest: Banks Worldwide Failing

Posted on August 28, 2008 02:36 PM

Here's a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Read the Rest: The Value of Consultants

Posted on August 12, 2008 05:19 PM

Just as there is no sound unless someone hears it, there is no offense unless someone takes it. That is to say, taking offense is something the listener, not the transmitter, does.

Read the Rest: Offensive Jokes

Posted on May 10, 2008 04:48 PM

Seeing is believing. In my previous post PEPSI Stands for "Pay Every Pence to Save Israel", I reported that Islamic scientists made the startling discovery that the hidden meaning behind the letters forming the name PEPSI is Pay Every Pence to Save Israel. Now comes visual proof from reader and photo-blogger Edward Cropper from his...

Read the Rest: Photo - Pepsi Mentioned in the Bible

Posted on July 24, 2007 02:54 PM

Muslim lies are so outrageous, so unbelievable, so divorced from reality that they become hilarious.

Read the Rest: Muslim Lies

Posted on April 9, 2007 05:06 PM

That's right. Google gives our enemies directions on how to reach our shores: It is well known that London is now a free port of entry for any Muslim in the world. When the flying Imams were removed from a US Airways flight in the Twin Cities, it put them on notice that everyone was now onto them and they would be watched very carefully if they tried to come into this country through normal means.